Monday, June 22, 2009

Has your ear grown dull through grief?

God often gets blamed for the horrible things that happen in our lives. As a young woman, I was angry at him for years for allowing my brother to be murdered, that is until my twisted views of of my Father in heaven were straightened out. I am not alone in the blame game. I heard about a woman who accidentally ran over her two year old. At the young child's funeral the preacher said, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." She never went to church again.

Great sorrow stuns us. It even makes us forget the best source of our consolation. I don't understand it, but that is the way it happened for me. Grief dulled my ears to his voice. For years I ran my own life without any real need for Jesus. But then something happened at the birth of my first child. I became desperate for God. I knew that I had a huge job ahead of me and felt quite ill-equipped.

I started to devour the word of God and found out that I loved to write about all I learned. As I began to write, however, God began to stir up all of the hurtful memories of my brother’s death, prompting me to deal with my long buried anger issues. Writing is known to be cathartic.

One day while attempting to record the story of my brother’s murder, I became so distraught that I had to push away from the computer. Later on, during my prayer and Bible study in Matthew 9, a flurry of emotions and tears erupted again. Even though I was reading something that Jesus had said to a woman with an issue of blood long ago, I heard the voice of my Savior speak directly to my heart and say, “Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” I knew without a doubt that Jesus had healed my soul from the bitterness and pain of my past. During that restoration experience I peeked into the heart of my loving Savior. He desires to heal all of his children, if only they will come to him and listen, hear him that their souls may live (Isaiah 55:3).

At that time, I finally realized how many times Jesus had called me to come to him so he could comfort and carry me through all of my troubles. I then understood the affects of sin on the world. It has broken God's perfect creation and ruins our fellowship with him. But because God is love, full of mercy and grace, he wants to help us through all that we face. May I be my Master's messenger? Let me remind you that you still belong to him. All of his promises stand firm forever, for he says:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43:2

I now echo Jeremiahs sentiments from Lamentations 3:19-26 in my own life and you can, too.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

May we all keep our ears open to the healing voice of our magnificent God and Savior. Amen!
picture by gballa86: "The Falls at Rushing River" courtesy of

1 comment:

Ms Katia said...

I was touched by your words, and encouraged by your witness of the Lord's faithfulness.