Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Are You An Adult Child of an Alcoholic/Addict?

I may have posted this on facebook or somewhere before, but I think it is worth repeating:
Are you an Adult Child of an Alcoholic or Addict? I discovered an eye-opening explanation as to why we do some of things we do.
             Poking around on Google while writing about my experiences with alcohol addiction in my family I came to a forum on www.soberrecovery.com. I was amazed at what I found when I read about the "13 Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics." As I recover and heal from the damage alcohol has had on me I asked God, "Why do I judge myself so harshly? I don't understand, Lord. And the more I work on trying not to, the more aware I am of how often I condemn myself." 
             God answered this question and many more through this enlightening list. Not all of them apply, but many do.
             Knowing why doesn't solve the problem, but it definitely lightens the load and makes the three important A's in recovery much easier: Awareness, Acceptance, Action. Now that I'm aware I can accept the problems that apply to me on this list and take the necessary action to heal. Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus for answering my heart's cry, speaking to my heart and carrying me through this recovery process. You are so good to me.
Here is the list. I hope it helps and enlightens you as you seek recovery. I'm praying for you! 

1.      Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) guess at what normal behavior is
2.    ACOA have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3.      ACOA lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4.      ACOA judge themselves without mercy.
5.      ACOA have difficulty having fun.
6.      ACOA take themselves very seriously.
7.      ACOA have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8.      ACOA overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9.      ACOA constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10.  ACOA usually feel that they are different from other people.
11.  ACOA are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12.  ACOA are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13.  ACOA are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self loathing and loss of control of their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of time cleaning up the mess.
 When I think of Recovery I think of the Serenity Prayer, and the place I feel the most serene is on the water, hence the picture of my old home place: Big Pine Key Bay :)

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
--Reinhold Niebuhr


1 comment:

Lynne Watts said...

Really a great list and great reminder Susan. So many people are affected by the addiction behaviors that are rampant in our society, and not just the addicts themselves but their families suffer. I love that you included the whole Serenity prayer. It was an eye opener when I read it for the first time. I included it in my book The Call as well. Great and informative post