This morning I answered the phone without looking at the caller ID. The number, an out of town, unknown number was from my alcoholic brother. If I had looked I would not have answered, but for some reason I did. Calling for help for the millionth time, I had to tell him "no," which is extremely difficult. As I told him I could not help him, I felt a rush of nervous anxiety run through my body. It made me sick to my stomach.
God has had me working on peacemaking in my family, which is torn to shreds over my brother's alcoholism. I didn't go into details in my last blog entry, but my broken family has remained on my heart as I prayed over the Scripture, "Blessed are the peacemakers." God has shown me that when someone struggles over and over with the same issues and refuses to go for the proper help--rehab, counseling, meetings, and so forth, there comes a point when help hinders and you must say, "No, I can't help you anymore." God is showing me this is his way of peacemaking, because it leads to health and wholeness. Human peacemaking is manipulative and causes us to work incessantly on smoothing things over, enabling, trying to make everyone happy (in my case, not saying anything, when I really want to scream), which leads to insanity, illness and more brokenness.
After hanging up the phone, I went to my Bible asking God to speak his peace into my life. A piece of note paper fell out with a grouping of Scriptures on it: Romans 15:33; 2 Corinthians 13:11, and Hebrews 13:20. I had to look them up and could not believe what I found. (Well, I really could believe it because we have an awesome God!) God spoke his words of healing immediately to my heart by saying:
The God of peace be with you all. Amen. Romans 15:33
Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13:11
May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21
Isn't God voice magnificent? His peace flooded my soul and I knew I had made the right decision.
Great Shepherd of the Sheep,
I love you with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Please continue speaking your peace into my heart. In your precious name. Amen